most of you know i have an issue with commitment of all kinds. for the last eight years i’ve lived year to year and never thought too far ahead. i’m not great at staying in one place for too long or saying i’ll do something for more than a year. the only thing that breaks that rule is trip plans for the future. mostly because i love traveling so much and they’re less set in stone.
all of this commitment phobia is kind of a joke in the family because ‘to a certain degree we all have a fear of commitment’ but i literally freak out. as in anxiety and over thinking. and some times tears. i've slowly been working on this. reminding myself of things that take time.
since richie's wedding i’ve been doing some self reflecting. he's always been someone to jump into everything fully. i don't know if he lacks the fear of failure, getting hurt, doing something wrong or if he just has that much faith in his self. it's incredible to witness.
and so, i've decided it's time to let some guards down. to stop worrying and jump in. i think i may have to take it one foot at a time but it's a whole lot better than standing by and watching from the side.
and so tomorrow it starts, being 26.
*jp
4 comments:
so, i totally get the overthinking. you know. i might need reminders in the next week or so. just say "JUMP! FUCKING JUMP!"
:) talk soon!
i think 26 is going to be a good year. we're grown old (very fabulously!) together.
:-)
i think the two-six has some potential. it seems to be working for s.j. i'll put some faith in it.
I like pie
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